Feelings - can you tell ?

ya i know i havent been blogging for awhile
i just realised that i'm so lazy to blog
maybe loads of you realised that long time ago
with the lack of my posts
been busy at work and when i come home,
my bed looks more interesting than my laptop

this blog is pretty much dead for now
it might be revived, if i have the time
i have my life to live, ya know.

hehe

the other day
a friend of mine was telling me that my blog
is meaningless and lack of 'feelings'
i was thinking :
'heck, its my blog - so none of your business '
if ya dont want to read, dont read la
its not like im forcing you to read
with a gun pointing at your head, right.

so, you want feelings?
Lets blog about feelings , then.

Feelings, for me
its always lies far beneath the surface,
never to be seen or even felt.
im not black-hearted or mean after all.
its just that i dont think im capable of
explaining hows my feeling all about.
i could not , in a thousand years, comprehend my feelings.

At this moment ,
im feeling so down in the dumps.
Things were like dirt tracks twisting through the jungle.
its muddy when the rain came,
and when its hot, its get so dusty ,
i could barely open my eyes.

my friends been telling me :
let bygones be bygones
but
i can't seem to tell myself that,
thus the feeling of guilt runs through
my mind all the time.

should i stop doing something that i know i might regret doing
or shall i give it a try and regret later?
shall i just let it be and do whatever i feel like doing
as no one knows whether what it will bring me.
i might not regret after all.

have you ever regret on doing something,
that when you looked back
you wish that you never have done it?

im feeling pretty excited as well
at the moment
as tomorrow is my birthday.
I wonder what will come for me.

btw, i already had a fantastic
advanced-birthday celebration
2 weeks ago.

haha

Will blog on that later.